When i was younger, when my father was still alive and healthy, i often see him sleep during his off days or during the weekends or when he's on leave or rather any free time for that matter...now this will get me very crossed indeed as i was hoping for some attention...you know, just someone whom i can randomly ask questions or someone who's watching over me....but he would just sleep...not that he didn't bring me out to orchard road or anywhere else...he did of coz...bringing me to wonderful restaurants and shoppings etc...rather spoilt i must say...
One day, i remembered screaming at him, why are you sleeping so much? it's board daylight and you are sleeping! I wanna go buy books at Times at Centrepoint!!! I would throw a lil tantrum and got a hell of a scolding or a tight smack from him....as a child, i would be crying and all....coz why? i didn't know what he was going through....
So as time went by, he left us...i grew up...many difficulties without him around...still, we pulled through....i got me a good paying job....trouble starts again.......
I grew weary....i grew older....i became easily exhausted....tired...immensely tired....a feeling i've never experience before....everything sapped right out....just like that...and to recuperate, takes ages....sleep has become more precious to me....normally, i can bolt right out of bed and get my day started without much problem....but now, it's becoming a drag....slowing me down....keeping me in long periods of daze....
While sitting on the bus journey home from tuition today, i thought i'd take a lil shut eye as i was really drained....and guess what? i missed my stop, landed all the way to the interchange and had an old chinese uncle yelling at me 'HELLO!'....gosh! how embarassing! i dashed out of the bus...just wanting to escape from the shame...then i began to think....
Is this what Father went through? Am i feeling his exhaustion? I think I am...work is really a major toll in our lifetime....slogging away...robbing us of our rest and time mostly....my father used to hold 2 jobs...an architect by day, a taxi driver by night...i dunno why he had to do so when he already had a good paying daytime job....then i think again....i've been going orchard almost every weekends with him, eating out, playing around, shopping......i was being pampered by him....thinking back, i was truly blessed.....he slogged out for the family's comfort...he worked like a bull for me, for my brother....
Now, i myself am holding down two jobs...hmmm as Baby puts it, i'm a 'victim of a situation' (mangsa keadaan)....didn't ask for it but it just came...two jobs wearing me out...the day starts at about 5 in the morning and ends on an average at 9pm....sleep has become too precious for me....my weekends can be spent doing nothing but sleep or rest or some form of unwinding methods....i find myself sleeping more and more....sigh....
Father, I now know what you've went through...I'm sorry....I love you...I miss you....
Ok, i need to go sleep now....yawn*
One day, i remembered screaming at him, why are you sleeping so much? it's board daylight and you are sleeping! I wanna go buy books at Times at Centrepoint!!! I would throw a lil tantrum and got a hell of a scolding or a tight smack from him....as a child, i would be crying and all....coz why? i didn't know what he was going through....
So as time went by, he left us...i grew up...many difficulties without him around...still, we pulled through....i got me a good paying job....trouble starts again.......
I grew weary....i grew older....i became easily exhausted....tired...immensely tired....a feeling i've never experience before....everything sapped right out....just like that...and to recuperate, takes ages....sleep has become more precious to me....normally, i can bolt right out of bed and get my day started without much problem....but now, it's becoming a drag....slowing me down....keeping me in long periods of daze....
While sitting on the bus journey home from tuition today, i thought i'd take a lil shut eye as i was really drained....and guess what? i missed my stop, landed all the way to the interchange and had an old chinese uncle yelling at me 'HELLO!'....gosh! how embarassing! i dashed out of the bus...just wanting to escape from the shame...then i began to think....
Is this what Father went through? Am i feeling his exhaustion? I think I am...work is really a major toll in our lifetime....slogging away...robbing us of our rest and time mostly....my father used to hold 2 jobs...an architect by day, a taxi driver by night...i dunno why he had to do so when he already had a good paying daytime job....then i think again....i've been going orchard almost every weekends with him, eating out, playing around, shopping......i was being pampered by him....thinking back, i was truly blessed.....he slogged out for the family's comfort...he worked like a bull for me, for my brother....
Now, i myself am holding down two jobs...hmmm as Baby puts it, i'm a 'victim of a situation' (mangsa keadaan)....didn't ask for it but it just came...two jobs wearing me out...the day starts at about 5 in the morning and ends on an average at 9pm....sleep has become too precious for me....my weekends can be spent doing nothing but sleep or rest or some form of unwinding methods....i find myself sleeping more and more....sigh....
Father, I now know what you've went through...I'm sorry....I love you...I miss you....
Ok, i need to go sleep now....yawn*
1 comment:
*hugs tight tight*
=)))
I'm always there for you k....
Remember our promise.. =)
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