It's already past one and i'm not sleeping yet....tired as i am but juz cant get to bed....a lot of things stuck in my mind....try as i might to break down and solve matters, i juz cant seem to do it this time ard...where's my composure? where's my patience? where's my level-headedness?
Past week had been tumultuous...not seen on my expression but God knows wat's inside my mind...smiles and laughter hid my sorrows...my eyes darting around, my heart pounding, my mind racing....honestly, a big mess....the scales are unbalanced...yet I lied to myself...convincing myself it's gonna be alright...running away from reality? well yes i did...coz y? i wanna see perfection in my plannings...it's juz me...getting all worked up if plannings go awry...if ever setbacks occur, i would normally be able to see it positively but things really went out of my hands this time...too much on my platter, too complex for my own comprehension...yes i did procrastinate but i did try to get back to matters but somehow it underwent exponential growth....what's the cause? where's the root of the matter? Somebody help me....tell me where i've gone wrong...have i been too angelic? have i been devillish? have my words kill hope? have my actions condone others? is it my fault or is it others? I need answers....FAST!
Did some serious post mortem, decided on the best outcome....before implementing, family problems cropped up...juz when I tot i have the ideal solutions to personal matters, the family juz have to come up with some new things to add to my already complicated lifestyle...vented out my anger...wasn't in the very best of mood but slowly recovering...family affairs i can always take it in hand...i've got bigger matters to attend to...
It's a delicate balance....I'm working on it...
Past week had been tumultuous...not seen on my expression but God knows wat's inside my mind...smiles and laughter hid my sorrows...my eyes darting around, my heart pounding, my mind racing....honestly, a big mess....the scales are unbalanced...yet I lied to myself...convincing myself it's gonna be alright...running away from reality? well yes i did...coz y? i wanna see perfection in my plannings...it's juz me...getting all worked up if plannings go awry...if ever setbacks occur, i would normally be able to see it positively but things really went out of my hands this time...too much on my platter, too complex for my own comprehension...yes i did procrastinate but i did try to get back to matters but somehow it underwent exponential growth....what's the cause? where's the root of the matter? Somebody help me....tell me where i've gone wrong...have i been too angelic? have i been devillish? have my words kill hope? have my actions condone others? is it my fault or is it others? I need answers....FAST!
Did some serious post mortem, decided on the best outcome....before implementing, family problems cropped up...juz when I tot i have the ideal solutions to personal matters, the family juz have to come up with some new things to add to my already complicated lifestyle...vented out my anger...wasn't in the very best of mood but slowly recovering...family affairs i can always take it in hand...i've got bigger matters to attend to...
It's a delicate balance....I'm working on it...
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